The Day All of History was Known
It was on this date that a historian finally claimed their knowledge of all of human history up until now was complete.
This annoyed every other historian because it was utter bullshit.
Not only is knowing everything ever impossible, but even knowing all the knowledge available to us is impossible, no one person could digest and recall it all.
The book they claimed this in was big, like fuck off big, but not big enough to accurately explore every event in human history. Do you know how long we've been here? Do you know all the stuff we've done? It's a lot. This historian didn't even know big portions of human history, they had extremely little information on First Nations Peoples and kept referring to Africa as if it were one homogenous country, that continent is fucking huge. They gave brief overviews of everything and didn't go into detail on anything, Mx. Big Brain over here thought they could just brush by the American Civil War with basically "there was slavery, then war, then no slavery", like they never heard of the US prison system, or also any other substantial details about the actual events.
Oh and god forbid they go more than a few paragraphs without relating everything to white people. The Classic Period of the Maya Civilization does not have to be compared to Greece or Italy all the time!
This is what happens when people think history is easy because it's "all said and done" and "not controversial because it's all already happened" and go unchallenged, they write stuff like this and think they're just done with it all.
History is changing all the time thanks to newer information and evidence, as well as more interesting perspectives and the application of newer critical theories. History is so vast and so deep and we will never fully realise it within its entirety, and that's really beautiful.
Imagine one day we come across archeological evidence that recontextualises everything we know about the Akkadian Civilization and we see their history from a whole new perspective we merely didn't consider due to a lack of imagination on our part, or the rigid social norms our contemporary society holds, or as a result of not having a diverse enough group of historians. Looking back at the entirety of human history with a critical eye, at points that we don't have enough information on and asking what might have been and why, looking at histories and cultures and peoples and knowing we don't know everything and there could be a million beautiful stories in those gaps, it re-enchants our current world, it changes how we see ourselves.
To claim it all is said and done and having no further comments or ideas or revelations or lessons is to claim that you don't care about history, all you care about is seeming like you're smart, like you're above it all, like you're the culmination of everything and you see it for what it really is and none can question you, like you're a god, when really, you're just an asshole trying to erase the beauty of the meaning, the ignorance, and the possibilities of history.
We don't know, and every second of what we can't account for is another story waiting to be told.
I mean, Jesus Christ they didn't even acknowledge trans history.
What an idiot.
What a cunt.
